I Want To Light a Verizon Store on Fire

Okay, I realize that is a little dramatic - but seriously not only is Verizon the nations largest 4G network, but they are also the biggest douche bags. So today I make the ultimate mistake by shattering my iPhone 4. Sadly, I was not even intoxicated (though trust, I will be soon) and just dropped it inbetween the couch. THEN when I went to retrieve it, I closed the recliner seat and began to hear the grinding of iPhone against iron. Not cute. There was my beautiful little iPhone smashed to bits. So destroyed that I cannot even use the screen.

So what did I do? What any reasonable New Yorker trapped in the suburbs would - I jumped in the car and did 90 mph to the Verizon store. Rather than addressing the TRAVESTY that I am stuck in the burbs SANS communications, they instead tried to sell me an iPhone 5. No, no. You are not HEARING me. I need a new phone. My phone. A replacement. Blah blah insurance, blah blah deductible, blah blah you will get it Tuesday. I resisted the urge to bitch slap the associate for their lack of customer service and understanding that I am visiting from New York (you know, that big city with the ball in December?) and absolutely cannot be without a cell phone for more than a few hours, let alone DAYS. I'm in PR for Christ's sake. I've never heard of disconnecting.

Okay, try Apple then. Fine, I will. Bless their souls, these nerds understood my pain and stopped short of offering me a water to take a Xanax to calm myself. They wanted to squeeze me in, but alas they have no genius bar openings tonight and so I am going Amish until the crack of dawn tomorrow when Apple will gladly replace my phone because THEY CARE. Hell, maybe I will throw them an extra $50 to get Siri. YOLO!

Here is what I have always known: Verizon customer service is zeeeeeee worst!!!! Typical of a business like them, who has a monopoly on their services and so they have the right to disregard the feelings of their customers. Sir, I know you have iPhones sitting in the back in their tight little boxes. Get your Dockers back there and give me one. This infuriates me. One day when I am rich and powerful and own a cell phone company (???) I am going to give a free cell phone to every person and their dog so who much as has a hairline fracture on it. You know why? Because that keeps the humans coming back. Why thank you for your speedy service and empathy!!! I know you value me so much as a customer that you are willing to move heaven and earth to keep me satisfied. Verizon doesn't satisfy me. I would gladly take my hard earned moneyz elsewhere if there was a provider out there that actually had cell service.

There is truly no point to this rant. Just consider it my arson note.

T Swift Changing Up The PR Game

I want to shake the hand of Taylor Swifts publicist. She must have the best and worst days in the business. Yes, I write this post while currently listening to "RED" AKA the Gylenhaal album. This is by far the best thing I have listened to since the Joe Jonas album.

Taylor Swift is a musical genius. Here is why: her songs are simple. This ain't rocket science, kids. We're not singing songs about ending wars. We're singing about heartbreak and being young and in love and stup. And guess what - we can all relate to that. Also, shits catchy. Trust, I tried not to like her single, but before I could help myself I was singing about how we are never ever ever ever gettingback together.

In one day, Taylor Swift can spark the best and worst media imaginable. Case in point: this week she released her latest album which is essentially her diary set to music. Not only does Tay Tay put out these not so subtle tunes about her ex-boyfraaands, but in the lyric books that accompany said albums she leavescryptic messages. For years, she has been capitalizing certain letters in the lyrics of each song to spell out a message or name. Homegirls so coy.

Tuesday morning Taylor appeared on GMA to culminate a month long partnership with the show where she has been previewing her singles each week leading up to her albums release (strategic - I like it). She goes on GMA, doesn't really say much of nothing, sings a couple songs and thus a platinum record is born.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch teeny boppers and bored 20-something's (read: me) are hard at work decoding each of her jams. Doesn't take long for everyone to realize which songs are for Jake, John, a Kennedy, etc and BAM google alerts explode. And that is how Taylor Swift ruined the day of Jake Gyllenhaals publicist.

It's mystifying really. She does the one thing most celebrities avoid (including her!) without really even doing it...she divulges intimate details of her personal life ("I'm just another notch on your belt" - virginity???) without really saying anything. I'm impressed.

Try as I might, the truth is I can't help but admire the way Taylor's playing us all like marionettes. We read about her in the US Weeklys, wait with bated breath to hear wh she is dating now, and then countdown to the next hate album. God bless America.

This post makes me a little pathetic, but homegirl deserves a round of applause for a job well done. Imagine if I blogged about my past relationships as often as she sag about them? Suffice to say it would not be as elegant.....

No Publicist? No Problem!

In making my triumphant return to the blogosphere, it is only fitting that I bring it back to where it all began - with Robert Pattinson. You may know him from Twilight or, most recently, the pages of US Weekly. His on/off screen girlfriend cheated on him (with a married man) and we've all been talking about it ever since. A man scorned! What a hussy! She issued a public apology (which is arguably the dumbest move yet) and he took the high road and said nothing. This past week he has been on a promotional tour in New York to tout his new movie Cosmopolis , lining up some real heavy hitters such as The Daily Show with John Stewart and Good Morning America. Call me cray, but these are pretty much the last stops you should be making if you don't want to talk to the world about your person life. Personally, I could not wait to hear how R. Pattz managed himself when faced with those tough questions. Overall he is a fairly awkward human, often giggling and shrugging off the easiest of questions.

During his appearance on The Daily Show, over a pint of Ben & Jerry's for comfort, Stewart asked R. Pattz if he was okay and how he was dealing with all the media attention. His response? Priceless. He noted that he has always been one of the "cheapest guys," and refuses to hire a publicist...but he could use one now! The following day R. Pattz appeared on GMA to face more questions and his response was pretty amazing:

"I've never been interested in selling my personal life and that's really the only reason people bring it up. The reason you go on TV is to promote movies, that's the only way to do it." 

R. Pattz then went on to say that people without publicists are truly responsible for their words. I'm not really sure what the point was in all that jumble, but here's what I do know: for someone with no publicist R. Pattz is mastering the media. Going on GMA and square dancing around the issue by talking about nothing and then giggling? Genius. Not sure that it's the right approach, but it's pretty damn effective.

The bottom line is that Robert Pattinson continues to dazzle females and media alike, and today I tip my hat to him.

#ProudToBU

Recently controversy rocked my beloved alma marter....again. Allegations this time around seemed even more alarming and to carry much more weight (if that's even possible). The magnitude of coverage surrounding BU was more than I expected. ESPN, FOX, HuffingtonPost - all for the wrong reasons. All making a colossal mistake that I have since seen members of the BU community also making - generalizing, stereotyping. Taking the mistakes of a few and questioning the culture of an entire institution.

Am I embarrassed by the buzz surrounding my school? Yes, of course. But does that change the way I feel about BU? Not for a second. My BU culture was amazing. I learned from friends, professors, administrators and alumni. I still continue to learn from all these people. I literally had the time of my life. Boston University was and is home to me. Cheesy much? Don't even care. It's a community built up of smart, talented, ambitious individuals and to look down upon the group as a whole for the mistakes of a few is a disservice to all the great work BU has done and will continue to do.

This is not to say there weren't hardships along the way. There were. There were multiple occasions throughout my four years at BU where I looked to the higher ups to respond in a certain way. I'm not saying their delivery was flawless (we're human after all), but in the end it met my expectations and at times they exceeded them.

I know there are a lot of questions regarding sexual assault at BU due to recent events. Is this a problem? Is it being swept under the rug? Are they trying to silence issues? I have a VERY hard time buying this, but even if there was an ounce of truth to it it is impossible to silence the voice of the BU community. Let's be real - they've been trying to censor "The Song" for years. Last time I checked, not going so hot.

Silence is not something BU stands for, and if you think it is perhaps you should reassess your view on why. BU's Dean of Students, Kenn Elmore, is constantly encouraging students to speak up, get out there, be active. Never once have have I heard him say otherwise. Even in the face of all this controversy he hosted a #BUConvo session where sexual assault was discussed. If anything, this is shining a glaring hashtag right on the issue, not hiding from it.

I cannot offer solutions for how to deal with these issues. It's way out of my league. Here's what I can say:

I did not and will not let any negativity impact the way I feel about BU. The experiences I had during my 4 years on Comm Ave, and the experiences I continue to have as a result are invaluable and unforgettable.  The relationships my family and I have created with those in the BU community, as a direct result of my enrollment, will last a lifetime. I feel sorry for those who came away with anything less than this in their journey.

Eventually the dust will settle, and when it does I hope those who have lost hope and pride in BU will remember why they chose to be there. In the meantime keep your heads up kids, and don't ever be afraid to be #ProudToBU.

The Bostification Of Gisele

Gisele Bunchen is officially a Bostonian. You know how I know? Because last night she told Giant's fans to eff off, in no uncertain terms. Gold. Today Gisele is taking a lot of heat (arguably more than her husband, God Brady) for coming to the defense of her beautiful hubby when he needed it. Her comments,  though a bit crass and harsh, were spot on. Gisele said "my husband cannot throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time." Is she insinuating the offensive line threw the game out for Tommy? Kinda sorta.

I think what Gisele is saying, pardon her poor delivery, is that this was a team loss. It's certainly not just Tom Brady's fault, or any single player who failed to make a catch during those 4 quarters of hell. They are all accountable.

I think what the media is losing site of here is something much more important - Gisele is officially a Bostonian. I mean check her out: swearing at New Yorkers and giving her team the middle finger after a devastating loss. Classic Boston. Be honest - how many of you were contemplating burning your Gronkowski jersey last night just to get out some aggression? I love it.

Today was a particularly rough day for me being a Boston sports fan in New York, but as the day went on and the insults got more and more unoriginal it dawned on me: I'm not angry at the Patriots. Hell, I love Billy and Tommy even though they choke at the big show! I'm not angry at the Giants fans either. They're silly humans excited about their second Super Bowl ring in a decade. It's impressive, truly.

Instead I say congratulations to the New York Giants and their fans - all 10 of you! Celebrate your Super Bowl and enjoy this time when people actually recognize there is a New York football team other than the Jets (sorry Bills!). At the end of the day you are just a series of clips in the New England Patriots ESPN special. The lesser Manning we couldn't beat. Come next playoff season we'll still be the team to beat. The Giants? Well, hopefully they'll be skiing.

BU Hockey

My alma mater has been in the news quite a bit this week, and for all the wrong reasons. I've been wanting to comment since news broke Monday that one of the players on the men's ice hockey team had been dismissed from the team, due to some pretty heavy allegations and some unbecoming behavior. This week's headlines may be about two individuals and a specific incident, but really this is about a bigger issue. It's not about the supposed alcohol problems of one player, but instead the attitude of the entire group. 

The Boston University Men's Ice Hockey team is one the greatest in the nation. Their greatness is not defined in wins and losses, or by national championships, but by the heart of their program and what it means to Boston University, it's students, and the players who throw on those red and white jerseys every Saturday night. I was drawn to BU (among other schools) because of it's hockey team. Sure, this is partly because I am a jersey chaser and hope to marry a professional HP, but more so this was about the way BU lives and breathes for hockey. In a university with over 18,000 undergrads coming from different countries, cultures, beliefs, etc - we are all united under Terrier Nation, and a huge part of that is BU Hockey.  I know I am not the only one who drawn in for these reasons, and so while I watch this fantastic program falter a bit, it makes me incredibly sad.

Any BU student will tell you that the hockey players strutting up and down Comm Ave are something special. Sure, we may hate them a little when they're getting into T's pub while we're waiting in line, but they are (in a way) the face and pride of our University so we expect it, and we allow it. 

The problem isn't so much that we've place them on an impossibly high pedestal, but instead that (this group) just isn't equipped to handle it. It wasn't always this way. Remember Matt Gilroy? That kid was BU's golden boy. Second coming to Harry Agganis. There was no question that Gilroy was hot shit on Comm Ave, but he was humble and respectful, and he was really only there to do one thing - play hockey. That's it. Somewhere between Matt Gilroy's graduation and today, the current Terriers let other things go to their head and get in their way. Like, for example, a NCAA championship in 2009. After that they walked on water, and so did we regular people, but our time to celebrate came and went, and it seems that some players forgot the parade had ended.

As much as I hate to watch, I think that this transition is necessary to build BU hockey back up to what it was, and what it should be: a group of men that are not only respected on the ice, but off the ice as well. Guys we as part of the BU family we can be proud of. There may be a lot of work to get there, but I look forward to watching that team when they take the ice.

Too Much Apple?

My once greatest fear is being realized - I am addicted to Apple products. Apple runs my tech life (with the exception of my work Blackberry). I have a MacBook and an iPhone .. and now I've set my sights on the iPad2. I've been thinking about the iPad2 nonstop for about 2 weeks. History tells me that means I've got to have it. Typically I do this with something I want (see: shoes, clothes, boys, etc). Now I find myself in a bit of a pickle - do I really need the iPad with all these other gadgets? Does it really matter if I need it? Should I get it anyway?

I turn to you, my trusted nerds, to sway me in the right direction. If you're using one, do you love it? Do you find it was an unnecessary cost? Is this going to change my life? Will it take me on a date?

DISCUSS.